ISSUES TO CONSIDER WHEN BEGINNING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Long distance dating relationships and long distance marriages are increasingly common. However, physical distance poses certain risks to these relationships. In my more than thirty years of experience as a psychotherapist, I've concluded that these risks vary in quality and meaning depending on the stage of the relationship.

Among dating couples, the greatest risk posed by physical distance is the honeymoon quality that characterizes their periods of togetherness. These relationships are frequently passionate and intense due to the constant cycle of separation and reunion. The limited exposure to one another often results in the partners having an idealized experience of on another, i.e. they see each other when they're at their best.

In my experience, the greatest risk associated with long distance dating is that a couple will decide to marry during the honeymoon phase. When this happens, neither has sufficient knowledge of the other, because they haven't experienced one another across a spectrum of life experiences.

When long distance daters get engaged, one partner usually relocates to the same city as the other. This often sets off a period of adjustment because they have greater exposure to on another. The honeymoon phase usually gives way to a more realistic phase. If the partners decide to move in together, their involvement with each other is amplified. Certain issues need to be addressed including: division of household responsibilities, detailed discussions and decisions about finances, the development of a shared social life, and perhaps greater involvement with or separation from one or both partner's family of origin.

A couple's ability to problem-solve together usually becomes more apparent during this more realistic stage of the relationship. If they experience difficulties, one of three responses tends to prevail: they seek premarital counseling, they continue with plans to marry despite the problems, or the relationship dissolves. In my experience, many premarital couples move forward with plans to marry despite the fact that they are experiencing significant problems. The greatest risk among couples who move from long distance dating to getting engaged is that the excitement about their marriage plans take precedence over learning how to successfully negotiate the problems they encounter in this realistic stage of the relationship.

Long distance marriages typically occur after a couple has lived together for some period of time. The separation is usually due to one partner's career. Physical distance places several unique stresses on a marriage. First of all, the bulk of household and child care responsibilities fall to one partner. This partner may grow resentful or envy the freedom and seeming glamour of the commuting partner's life. They may also feel insecure if their partner is going to be working closely with members of the opposite sex.

Spouses in long distance marriages often feel lonely, especially because they've grown accustomed to living together. While the lure of sexual novelty is no different for married couples living apart than it is for those living together, physical distance may make these marriages more susceptible to infidelity. The distance makes it easier to hide an affair. There may also be a greater likelihood of one partner falling in love since it's virtually impossible to sustain emotional intimacy in a relationship during extended periods of absence.

In order for long distance romantic relationships of any kind to work, a couple needs to communicate with one another frequently and make plans to see each other regularly. The more frequent the visits and the longer the time they spend with each other - the better. Also, prior to marriage, a couple should plan to live in the same city if at all possible. Most importantly, they need to move from the honeymoon phase into the realistic phase of relationship and be sure they are able to successfully navigate the real life problems that emerge during this stage.

For married couples who live apart - the same holds true. Frequent contact by phone and in person is essential to keeping a marriage alive. It is the day-in, day-out quality of marriage that leads to emotional depth and intimacy. While absence can make the heart grow fonder, it can also result in indifference.

what are some great way to make him say i love you

Some men will always have a problem with these three little words because they are told coming along to be tough and unwavering, especially regarding women. This gets translated to mean never say anything too committal until you get backed into a corner. Many times the guy has the right intentions; he just needs something to prompt the response.
Hold out on Saying the Words Yourself It is an unwritten law that the woman does not say the words first. It is carved in stone in some mausoleum of a great lover somewhere. Sometimes it seems like a game, but it is important to get him to utter it first.
Make Opportunities Be sure there are times when you and he are alone and the mood is perfect. Snuggle and make him feel that the relationship he has is a very, very important one. You should time these sessions when it is the most romantic it can be in setting, and quiet enough to allow him the opportunity to speak.
Don't Act Desperate You want to look happy and satisfied with him, but don't play such a lover that your arms around his neck begin to feel like a noose. Keep a presence that lets him know you are serious, but don't appear as a puppy sitting on your haunches begging for a treat. You don't want the words to come because of the pity he feels for you.
Take a Furlough from Love Go somewhere without him for several days. While you are gone, don't spend a great deal of time texting or calling him. If he doesn't try to contact you, definitely don't get in touch with him. If it's love, he'll be dying to see you when you get back.
Give the Right Body Language Make doe eyes, blow kisses, and do anything that you feel is indicative of the way you feel and the way you hope he feels. He should know every time he sees you that you are in love with him, unless he is a complete moron. Make sure if he's ever seen a movie about love, he recognizes it in you.
Come to the Brink Do all the things that show your affection and, at the same time, talk the talk that says everything except the three words. Make it obvious enough so that the words come into his mind, without actually hearing you say them.
The Timely Statement If he doesn't succumb and say anything, but he still acts as though it is true, you almost have to call his hand. That is the time when you look him in the eye and tell him you need to know how he feels about you because you have to make some decisions of your own. That lets him know the time for straddling the fence is over.
Pay Close Attention Here-
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will show you- How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You -- and Give You The World. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which shows any woman how to be irresistible to men.

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